On The Bench

I relate to sports analogies.

Recently, I was talking to a friend about being on the receiving end of another "I just want to be your friend" conversation. He listened to me rant for a little bit then gave some good insight.

He told me that I am the girl that every guy wants in his starting line-up.

It made me think. Of course every guy wants me in his starting line-up. I am fun, easy-going, love sports, love to laugh, am fairly simple, and am funny. As I have been told, I am a "catch."

So, alas, I am the girl that every guy wants on his bench, in his starting line-up.

The reality is.... I can't sing, "Put Me In Coach" enough. My uniform is starched and ready to go.

Trust me, I know that the grass is always greener. I get it.

But that doesn't change the fact that I am getting a little sick of sitting the bench.

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For my Roommate and Freighbor

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Book worm

I am somewhat of a bookworm.

In fact, a big bookworm.

There are three books that I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to get. Alas, I shouldn't spend money on more books. Boo Hiss.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY want my crush's new book... A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.

I also want Francis Chan's new book, Forgotten God.

And, Rob Bell's new book, Drops Like Stars.

If only I have a sweet little gift card to Amazon or Borders or Barnes and Noble.

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Slums...

Did you know that slums are the world's fastest growing human habitat?

Did you know that 1/3 of the world's population live in slums?

Watch this video...

http://www.theplaceswelive.com

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Done bein your plan B while you're waitin for plan A to come around...

I'm a one way express train
Get on or get off and stay off
I'm 'a need me a strong man who knows what he wants
I don't want none of your tongue tied indecision
So let me give you just one helpful piece of wisdom

Man up or back down
Don't hang around when you're not sure
If you're gonna stay or run
Oh honey this has been fun
But I think we're done
I don't have time to wait around and see
If ya don't know then you're not right for me
This train's heading out of town
So man up, or back down

I've been patiently waitin
For you to finally mean it
And you might really want me
But I sure haven't seen it
Don't ya go and think that I'm gonna try and read your mind
If you wanna stick around
Well it's high time to make your move

Man up or back down
Don't hang around when you're not sure
If you're gonna stay or run
Oh honey this has been fun
But I think we're done
I don't have time to wait around and see
If you don't know then you're not right for me
This train's heading out of town
So man up, or back down

Well I'm done waitin by the phone
Hopin you will call
And I'm done tellin myself that I'm not hurt at all
And I'm done being your plan B while you're waitin for plan A to come around
You're done holding on to my heart
This is the part where you finally start to

Man up or back down
Don't hang around when you're not sure
If you're gonna stay or run
Oh honey this has been fun
But I think we're done
I don't have time to wait around and see
If you don't know then you're not right for me
This train's heading out of town
So man up, or back down


Thank you Natalie Closner! :)

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I care

I care about what you think of me.

I might not even know you, but I care.

I am addicted to the approval of others. I am constantly questioning whether or not I am smart enough, skinny enough, funny enough, pretty enough, qualified enough... _____ enough. Some days are better than others, but I struggle everyday.

This makes life hard sometimes. When I feel like I am not _____ enough, I often want to run and hide. I abandon the person, people, place that I fear sees me as not _____ enough. It sucks.

It really sucks.

And, it makes it hard to be in community.

The fear sneaks in, and I want to run.

It takes all that is in me to stick around and wait for the verdict, and continue living my life, regardless of the outcome. The reality is... NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE ALL OF ME. Hello, I certainly don't like everything about everyone that I come into contact with.

Life is just hard.

I think we get stuck in this mentality that if only I were _____er life would be easier. If only I was dating ____ life would be easier. If only I made _____ more money each month...

We live in the shadows of what if, if only, and maybe statements.

Lets give to the wind our fears, stop living under these glass ceilings, and live life abundantly.

Easier said than done, I know... but let's try! :)

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Take A Bow

Again.

Gabe Bondoc!

Amazing!!!!

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Romeo's Perspective

Gabe Bondoc.

AMAZING!!!

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Room For Squares

I listen to Pandora whenever I am at my desk at work. Some days, it does me good. Other days, I am disappointed. Recently, Pandora has been pulling out all of the stops to make me smile, laugh, take a walk down memory lane, and even shed a few tears.

It wasn't until Pandora played a few songs from John Mayer's Room for Squares that I remembered how much I love that album.

Recently, I had diarrhea of the mouth. I opened my mouth when I shouldn't have. My stupid mouth... That same day, John Mayer's song came on. I laughed and cried at the irony of the situation.



My stupid mouth
Has got me in trouble
I said too much again
To a date over dinner yesterday
And I could see
She was offended
She said "well anyway..."
Just dying for a subject change

Oh, another social casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find what soon

We bit our lips
She looked out the window
Rolling tiny balls of napkin paper
I played a quick game of chess with the salt and pepper shaker
And I could see clearly, An indelible line was drawn
Between what was good, what JUST slipped out and what went wrong

Oh, the way she feels about me has changed
Thanks for playing, try again.
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one

I'm never speaking up again
It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
Than she desert me

Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now... Starting now

One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked
I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire

Do you ever feel like this song can be your theme song? Or, is it just me?

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Do you love what you do?

I do!

When I returned from Arizona, abruptly, I had no idea what I would do for a job. By the grace of God, I got a job that taught me a lot about myself, all while being able to pay my bills. I learned what I do and don't want to do. I learned the kind of person I do and don't want to be. I realized that I probably never want to own a business, at least not if it is anything like what I saw. I just learned and grew a ton. I was in that job for 9 months, which was just long enough for both my employer and myself to know that I was miserable there. I left on good terms, it just wasn't a right fit.

I love my job now. It is SO SO SO different than anything I ever thought that I would be doing. I generally run and hide from pre-school age children. They just aren't my favorite. In fact, I would much rather deal with High School students. Having all that been said, I am surprised everyday with how much I enjoy my job.

I love the hours. I love the community that we are serving. I love that I get to speak Spanish everyday. I love the people that I work with, most of them being women my mother's age. :)
I just love it.

I don't dread going to work. I have energy when I get home, even if it is a 10 hour day.

It is a nice change.

I have been working in this job for 3 months now, and couldn't be happier! :)

I still get the itch to work in the music industry whenever I am at a show or am talking to someone on tour. I have not let that dream go. I am not pursuing it, but I haven't let it go. Maybe it will just look differently than I had originally anticipated...

We shall see!

I hope you love what you do.

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What Happen In Vegas...

I am FINALLY taking my inaugural trip to Las Vegas!



I have driven through Las Vegas numerous times on the way to Utah or Colorado on the annual Young Life Ride Utah trip. We even stopped there for lunch on our way home from our Colorado-San Diego Spring Break Adventure a few years ago. So, though I have been there for 4 hour increments, I equate that to being in the airport for a lay-over... it doesn't count! :)

My sister and brother-in-law, along with my sweet nephew, are going in December with one of their best friends, to celebrate Jon's birthday, New Years, and just hang out with Jason is back in the states. They invited me. Well, I kind of invited myself, but then they invited me. :)

So, we will be there December 26-January 3rd.

I am so excited...

VIVA LAS VEGAS

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27 Dresses...

Not Quite, but close.

As we all know, I have been IN and TO my fair share of weddings. This year was on the light side with just 7 weddings. As I say that, I feel sick. 7 weddings?! That is A LOT.

The past few weekends have been full of fun, excitement, travel, and bridal showers. :)

Dearest Kel...


Two weeks ago, we celebrated Kelli and Sam, by showering Kelli with love by giving her things that she asked for and by eating waffles. :) Kelli is one of the most talented people I know, hands down. Her eye for fashion design, graphics, and art is impeccable. More than being a brilliant artist, Kelli is a loyal friend. She has one of the most kind and caring hearts. She is a blessing to all of us who get to have her in our lives. Kelli is marrying an incredible man named Sam. Sam has a gentle demeanor about him, along with a quiet strength. Kelli and Sam are fit so well and are better together. Sam loves Kelli in a way that is inspiring and humbling to witness. I am so excited for Kelli and Sam, and their tying of the knot in November. (PS... Kelli is the one that gave me the nickname Manders) :)

Sweet Sweet Ems...



Today, we showered sweet Emily with love and gifts that she picked out, and even ones that she didn't but that Eric will be pleased with. :) Like Kelli, Emily has a kind heart. Emily is one of those people that you can tell anything to. Our friendship has had it's fair share of ups and downs, but has only been made stronger by those ups and downs. Also like Kelli, Emily is loyal. Emily is marrying a great guy named Eric. It has been a joy to journey with Emily as she and Eric went from being friends to dating to engaged. Eric loves Emily and pursues Emily the way her soul needs to be loved and pursued.

I love these two ladies, and I am a big fan of the men that had put a ring on it.

So, November 7th, we will be eating breakfast for dinner and dancing all night as we celebrate Emily and Eric tying the knot.

Then...

November 15th, we will take in the splendor and beauty of a vintage, elegant, artistic, and super fun wedding as we join Kelli and Sam in celebrating their wedding day.

Here's to wedding season 2009, part deuce.

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Coming Soon...

I have a lot to blog about... just not very much time to sit down and gather my thoughts.

I have started a few blogs, just need to finish them up and post them.

Here is what is to come...

1. A few blogs on sitting the bench
2. My Stupid Mouth is more than a catchy title to a John Mayer song
3. Fear and running
4. The kind of friends that you REALLY tell EVERYTHING to...
5. Importance of community
6. My job
7. Quarter-Life-Crisis
8. Vegas
9. Wedding Season 2009... Part 2
10. Ellen Show

I know, it's a lot.

I promise to post soon. :)

And, to whoever googles my name to find this blog, I would like to know who you are. :)

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Help my Freighbor

Please Please Please VOTE.
My freighbor's school needs this!!! :)

http://www.nikebackyourblock.com/ApplicantProfile.aspx?ApplicantId=f0f3ef9a-a4e2-4d9b-9b96-b5e33fe9b993

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A Million Miles in A Thousand Years

My crush on Donald Miller is no secret.

He has a new book coming out called, A Million Miles in A Thousand Years.

Here are the first 30 pages...
A Million Miles In A Thousand Years by Donald Miller

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