While my dear friend's Mom, Bev 'Mama K', was battling Breast Cancer, she stood confidently with the phrase "Fear Has No Place In Our Hearts" on her heart, mind, and in every e-mail. :) I Have not been able to get this phrase out of my mind since then.
There is a profound truth and a deep wisdom that lies in this simple phrase. Fear has NO place in our hearts. It is so easy. It is simple. Well, simple and easy to say.
I am a worrier. It is no secret that I have been battling my own "cancer" in anxiety over the past few years. Growing up, going through and witnessing the things that I did, it is no wonder that I have anxiety. It fits the mold. As I have written before, I never knew what anxiety was or the role that it played in my life until it was a little too late. My struggle with worry and doubt blew up in my face while on the vacation of a lifetime. I was faced with a panic attack.
Panic and anxiety can be incredibly debilitating. Anxiety keeps COUNTLESS people from doing what they love, hope, and dream of doing. Some people can't get in a car without taking some sort of sedative. Others can't go to a concert for fear of crowds. People in my case, have irrational fears and thoughts while traveling.
I love to travel and have been beyond blessed with the opportunity to travel to a number of wonderful places. While working for Jedidiah, I was able to travel with Youth Specialties to cities all over the US for their National Youth Worker Conventions. I went all by myself. I flew to a new city, took a cab to the hotel, checked in, set up, worked, tore down, and flew home... alone. I was never afraid. I never worried. I loved it.
When I was 18, I packed up Rosie's little Toyota and headed north for school in Seattle, without a penny to my name or a worry in my heart. I was free. I didn't fear, I hoped and dreamed. It was beautiful.
So, why?! Why all of a sudden, while on a DREAM vacation, given to me by ELLEN, did I freak out?! Why did I wake up on the first night feeling like I was going to die, only to not get better? Why?! It didn't make sense. It still doesn't make sense.
Since that trip, in June of 2008, I have been a little timid of travel, especially out of the US. I have been to Arizona more times than I can count, to LA, up to Seattle, and to Las Vegas a few times. Each trip has been a success. Sure, I get a little anxious, but NOTHING like my experience in London.
Every year, my friend Chelsea and I go on a trip together. We have done Colorado and Seattle. This year, we wanted something warm and tropical. This idea excited me. But, I was naturally a little nervous.
I kept telling myself...
FEAR HAS NO PLACE IN MY HEART.
It's true.
Fear has NO place in my heart.
We made the reservations for a lovely cruise on The Monarch of the Seas, sailing from Port Canaveral, FL to Nassau, The Bahamas and Coco Cay, The Bahamas. We made the reservation and didn't look back.
