San Diego SUPER Chargers

No fair weather fan here.

I love my Chargers.
Wins.
Losses.
I love them.

I am so thankful that I get to go to the games to cheer them on in person.  Today was no exception...

Cheers to a new year and a new start for the Chargers organization.

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Merry Christmas!

"For to us a child is born, 

to us a son is given, 

and the government will be on his shoulders. 

And he will be called 

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, 

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Isaiah 9:6

For some, the holiday season brings about feelings of great joy and an overwhelming sense of love and hope.  For others, the holiday season brings about feelings of anxiety, fear, loneliness, and a reminder of what they don't have.  For others, they find themselves in the land between both the mountain top and the valley below.  Wherever you find yourself during this holiday season, it is my hope and prayer that you know these things:

You are loved.

You make a difference.

The God of the universe loves you - and don't you dare let anyone tell you differently!

You are beautiful, YES, YOU!

It gets better.

You are not alone.

Hold on to hope... even  especially when you feel like letting go.

You may not believe one, some, or all of those statements, but I do.  So if nothing else, know that there is someone out there who believes them to be true for you.  Yes, YOU!

 

  

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So...

...about that whole end of the world thing?

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Some Things Never Change...

I posted THIS blog on February 5, 2009.

Almost 4 years later, and I still feel the same way.

I want a man who loves Jesus.
I want a man who loves others.
I want a man who loves sports.
I want a man who can laugh at himself.
I want a man who doesn't care about fashion more than I do.
I want a man who doesn't wear skinny jeans.
I want a man who loves music.
I want a man who has friends - real friends, the kind that will tell him when he is being a DB.
I want a man who isn't afraid to tell me when I am wrong and will do so with love and grace.
I want a man who will show affection by holding my hand, touching my back - this is important.
I want a man who can not only initiate but keep up with an intellectual conversation.
I want a man who owns a flannel - and not one made by Volcom or Billabong.
I want a man who knows how to change a tire and maintain his own vehicle - please let it be a truck.
I want a man who prefers beer and whiskey to wine and champagne.
I want a man who is a good friend.
I want a man who is respectful of women.
I want a man who will open doors, walk me to my car, and make sure I made it home safe.

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Then...

...there was that one time when I was going on a blind date and my friends came to spy/make sure that I didn't get shanked.

True story.

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AAA

hashtagsingle.

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Boxing and Baking

Boxing and Baking TOTALLY go together.

Well, in our world they do.
Nothing like following up a boxing class with a bottle of wine, 4 batches of The Best Cookie Ever, a show that is frightening to watch, and dancing and singing to country music.

So thankful to call Tracy friend.

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Tia

When your 4 year old nephew calls you crying, it doesn't matter where you are or what your plans are, you change directions, stop at sonic for slushies and get to him as quickly as possible.

Of course, he wore himself out from crying and was asleep before I got there, but that is beside the point.

I love being Tia to these sweet boys.

Being an aunt really is a special gift that I am so thankful to my sister and brother-in-law for.

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Wingman

Eric is a wonderful person.
He is a therapist - and it is the PERFECT profession for him.  Seriously, it is what he was made to do.
Luckily for me, I don't have to pay for his services since our therapy sessions take place at Disneyland, Dive Bars, and over delicious meals.

Tonight was no different.

Eric is the best wingman out there.
He knows where to go to find men that are my style.
He knows me well enough to know where I will and won't be comfortable.
He doesn't allow me to just sit back - he pushes me to be proactive in dating.

When we realized that there weren't any promising options at the bar, we took to the online option.  Yup, you read that right.  We shall see how this goes.

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One more thing...

Santa,

I forgot one thing on that list...

STORYLINE CONFERENCE!

Please?
Thanks, Santa.

Just like the cast of New Girl, I believe.

Love,
Manders

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The Starter Boyfriend: Part Three

Just as we should, and do, have Starter Boyfriends... we should also have those in-between boyfriends.

DISCLAIMER: I am a firm believer in being HONEST about feelings and expectations.  Some people might think that I am a giant A-Hole for referring to someone as a Starter or In-Between Boyfriend.  The reality is, for me, the guys who get these titles know that they land in one of these categories.  Sometimes Mr. In-Between becomes Mr. Semi-Long Term or even Mr. Boyfriend and SOMETIMES Mr. Fiancé.  Sometimes the Starter Boyfriend becomes an actual boyfriend.  Sometimes they start out as a Starter/In-Between and stay exactly that.  However it turns out, it is and will be OK.  Just be sure to be honest with yourself and the other person in the relationship.
So often, when we find ourselves on the other side of a relationship, which ended for whatever reason, and we don't know where to start picking up the pieces.  As time goes on, we try to put ourselves back together enough to get out there and start living again.  This can take days, weeks, months, and even years.

First things first: DON'T LET ANYONE ELSE TELL YOU HOW LONG THIS SHOULD TAKE.
It is easy for someone on the outside to tell you "oh, it is too soon".  It is also really easy for someone to tell you "the best way to get over one is to get under another".  There is truth in both of these statements, but YOU have to figure out what is right for YOU.

Next: DON'T PUT LIMITS ON YOURSELF FOR HOW LONG THIS SHOULD TAKE.
Time does heal wounds.  Think about it... it takes time for our physical wounds to scab and scar.  Why should we treat our emotional wounds any differently?  We are so quick to tell ourselves that we HAVE to wait a year when we get out of a committed relationship.  If it was a short relationship, we give ourselves a week and then we jump right back in.  Sometimes the most superficial wounds take the longest to heal – yet we don’t allow them the time to do so.  In the same way, some of the wounds that we expect to be the deepest and most labor intensive to heal eventually heal on their own, and in less time than expected.  Again, you have to figure out what is right for you in each situation.

In our little imaginary world, we are going to wait a week, month, or year before getting back out there.  We are going to focus on ourselves and heal.  In reality, someone comes along and ruins our imaginary timeline.  We fight it.  We put limits on things that don't want nor require limits.  We put relationships and feelings in a box rather than just letting things run their course.

The in-between boyfriend generally comes around when we least expect or what him to.  He messes with our timeline that we have created so perfectly in our imagination.  Some friends celebrate his arrival, telling us that it is a great opportunity to learn and grow.  Some friends tell us to be cautious, which is to be expected, but allow us to make our own decisions.  Other friends tell us that it isn't fair to have an in-between boyfriend - he will get hurt.  The reality is... it is a risk.

Dating is risky.
Starter boyfriends are risky.
In-between boyfriends are risky.
Boyfriends are risky.
Fiancés are risky.
Husbands are risky.

If you aren't willing to risk getting hurt, you shouldn't be out there.  In the same way, if the starter/in-between boyfriends don't go into dating knowing that there is risk involved, they should just say home.  In the risky business of dating, we need to remember to relax and just take things one day at a time.  Rather than putting limits on emotions and feelings and putting labels on things – let’s make a commitment to enjoying seasons of Starters and In-Betweens.

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Man Period?

Tonight I got together with a friend that I have known since the seventh grade.  To go further, our mom's grew up together... so our families have a long history.  Joelle is one of those people that you can pick up with after years and it feels like no time has passed at all.  We caught up on life.  We talked about our dating situations.  We celebrated and mourned the reality of being 27 and single.

We decided to stay local and go out close to home.  We ended the night in a dive bar near the beach.  I am a lover of dive bars... the people watching is always the best.  As terrible as it is to say, and don't act like you don't agree, some of the people in dive bars make me feel pretty good about me and my life.  Don't judge me.  You know you have thought and felt the same thing at some point in your life as well.  Tonight was no different.

Meet Keith:

Keith was wearing a suit.  Isn't he fancy?  Yup, I thought so too.

Keith went on to tell Joelle and I all about his lack of a sex life and how he is currently on his "man period" due to his current dry spell.  According to Keith, women use their cycle as an excuse to be extraordinarily bitchy so guys get to use their dry spells for the same.  Keith is a scholar, CLEARLY!

For most of the conversation I was speechless... which says something because it takes a lot for me to be at a loss for words.  As I continued to listen to Keith and Joelle exchange words - most of which consisted of Joelle making fun of Keith and Keith not realizing it - I couldn't help but laugh.  Laugh and die inside a little bit.

THIS IS WHO WE HAVE TO CHOOSE FROM!?!?

I mean, SERIOUSLY.

I wish I could say that Keith is the exception, but I am finding that Keith is actually the rule and I am looking for the exception.  Now I will say, I was out in a part of town that tends to beckon Keith and men that are just like him, but I also know that "Keith" is in every bar, at every club, and is always seated at my table at weddings and events.

So, as long as Keith is who we have to choose from... I will likely be single until this Zombie Apocalypse that everyone keeps talking about happens.

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Forgive and Forget?

I am pretty sure I want to punch whoever came up with "Forgive and Forget".
In spite of my recent endeavor in boxing, I am not a violent person.
I have never been in a physical fight (fighting with my sister when we were kids doesn't count).
That being said, I DEFINITELY want to punch whoever came up with that ridiculous saying.

The reality is, we should forgive.
We have been forgiven.
There is power in forgiveness.
The power that comes from forgiving sometimes lies in the forgiver more than the forgiven.

The memory is a powerful and wonderful gift.

I know, from experience, that there are some things that we wish we could forget.  We don't always want to remember every detail of every event.  Sometimes we do.  We get to choose whether we see memory as a blessing or a curse.  YOU GET TO CHOOSE!
When I hear of people who have lost their memory to Dementia, Alzheimer, or from any other tragedy that can happen, my heart breaks.  Sure, they can no longer remember the pain that they may have endured in life, but they also can't remember the name of their first love.

My problem with this whole "forgive and forget" nonsense is the forget part.  I believe that we should "Forgive but DON'T forget".  Forgive.  Forgive freely.  Don't you dare forget what it is that you are forgiving.  If we forget, we miss the lesson and the chance to learn and grow.

So, let's Forgive by Don't Forget... There is more to be learned in this scenario. 

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Fool

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

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That last 10%

You know what I am talking about.

You know, the last 10% of the conversation that we so often avoid.

That 10%.

When we are talking and sharing our lives with someone, we tend to leave off that last 10% that could potentially change the way the person views us.  In return, the person with which we are speaking often leaves off the last 10% of the truth that we need to hear.  I am a firm believer in the saying, "You are only as good as the company you keep".  In that, I try my best to keep good company around me - people that will both speak and receive the last 10% with grace and love.

During Football season, I spend most Sundays with some of my favorite people.  The football games, on TV and live, are fun... but the best part is getting to talk about life - and all of the ups and downs that come with it.  This weekend was no different.  Last week, I received the great news of two friends being pregnant, of a friend going ring shopping, and of others happily dating.  I heard about all of that while being REAL single.  Don't get me wrong, I could not be happier for my friends... it is just hard to hear sometimes.  Last week was one of those times.  I can't help but feel like I continue to get lapped by my friends on the track of life, while I appear to be taking a water break.  So, we talked about it.

My friend helped me see, by speaking with grace and love and encouragement, that as long as I am taking the water break, I will continue to get lapped.  Hanging out with my married friends, with my friends and their babies, and other similar situations, isn't exactly helping me to get back on the track.  In fact, those things are probably prolonging the water break.  My friend spoke the last 10% that I have been avoiding... If I really want to get out there and date more, if I really want to be in a long-term committed relationship, then I need to change my circumstances.

I need to accept invitations to do things, even if I don't really want to.
I need to put myself out there more.
I need to stop going to bed at 8pm.
I need to look good to feel good - which means continuing to work hard at eating well/working out.
I need to date to date.
I need to give guys a chance - can't be so quick to right someone off.

I needed someone to shake me into the reality of all of these things, and I am so thankful that she did.  I am thankful that, in spite of how scary it can be at times, she said the last 10% without fear of how I would respond.

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Sing it, girl!

It is no secret that I love to sing.
I sing in my office.  I sing in my car.  I sing in other people's cars.  I sing at work.  I sing at home.  I just can't help it.  I love to sing.

One of my very favorite Sundays of the year is when Flood San Diego does their Christmas Concert.  Their creative arts team knocks it out of the park EVERY YEAR.  The videos are beautifully done - evoking laughter and joy.  The songs are produced so masterfully.  It is just a really great evening of celebrating the Advent season and all that this season is really about.  We sing of the coming Savior and of His love for us and the world.  We sing loud.  I love everything about it.

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Little Jars of Happiness...

Last Christmas I got crafty in the form of making a ridiculous amount of crafts.  I made trees out of wine corks.  I made wreaths with yarn and felt flowers.  I made ornaments and coasters out of scrabble letters.  I made baby blankets.  My glue gun got LOTS of use.

This year, I am getting crafty in the kitchen.  Some of you will be receiving a Little Jar of Happiness, so act surprised when you do.

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And They're Off...

These babies are on their way to my most favorite people...

WA, OR, AZ, CO, TX, OK, TN, FL, GA, SC, VA, and all over CA.

Once they are received, I will post the card on here as well.

Tracy made my vision a reality, once again! SHE IS BRILLIANT!

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You're my tuxedo...

...And I'm your bow tie.

Cher Lloyd performed this song on X Factor a few weeks ago and I loved it from the moment I heard it.  Be warned... chair dancing is known to happen while listening to this song.  More than the catchy tune and fun beat, the lyrics are fun and full of love.  To my nearest and dearest, you know who you are, this song is for you...

Yo, my best friend, best friend til the very end
Cause best friends, best friends don't have to pretend
You need a hand, and I'm right there right beside you
You in the dark, I'll be the bright light to guide you
'Member the times, times, times sneaking out the house
All of the times, times, times that you had the doubts
And don't forget all the trouble we got into
We got something you can't undo, do

Laughing so damn hard
Crashed your dad's new car
All the scars we share
I promise, I swear

Wherever you go, just always remember
That you got a home for now and forever
And if you get low, just call me whenever
This is my oath to you
Wherever you go, just always remember
You're never alone, we're birds of a feather
And we'll never change, no matter the weather
This is my oath to you

I know I drive you crazy, maybe, sometimes
I know I call you lazy, and that's most times
But you complete me, and that's no lie
You are my tuxedo, and I'm your bow tie
We in the car, sing, sing, singing our song
Rocking the building, tear it down, like we king kong
And in my eyes, you can't do, do no wrong
You got the best friends sing, sing along

I'll never let you go
Whoa, this is my oath to you
Just thought that you should know
Whoa, this is my oath to you

Yeah...

Oh oh
You should know, you should know, you should know, you should know
Yeah oh
Whoa, this is my oath to you
Whoa, wherever you go just always remember
You're never alone, we're birds of a feather
Whoa, this is my oath to you

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Happiness is...

Happiness is a good hair day.

Happiness is finding out some unexpected people read this blog.

Happiness is getting Christmas cards in the mail.

Happiness is running into a friend at a concert.

Happiness is getting to take a leadership role for a project at work.

Happiness is being sore from a good work out.

Happiness is getting to stay in touch with friends near and far thanks to Google Chat.

Happiness is downloading new songs.

Happiness is putting the finishing touches on the 2012 Christmas Card.

Happiness is getting an unexpected text.

Happiness is watching your friends become parents.

Happiness is being there for a friend when they need you most.

Happiness is shopping for friends and family.

Happiness is a classic Christmas movie.

Happiness is your favorite cookie recipe.

Happiness is a cozy long sleeve shirt.

Happiness is a fresh coat of nail polish.

Happiness is a warm and fuzzy blanket next to a fire.

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Nice List?

Naughty or Nice?

I am fairly certain that I made the nice list.  I am absolutely certain that I did my fair share of naughty things this year, but I would like to think that those moments were few and far between.  That being said,  I decided to make a wish list for Santa.

Dear Santa-
I would LOVE to find any of the following items under my tree.  Please? 

The North Face Denali (with the hood) - Note that this has been on my wishlist for about 9 years now.  One of these days, it will be mine!

I, in NO WAY, need another pair of Nike running shoes at this point in my life... but this list isn't about needs, it is about wants.  I WANT a pair of Nike Frees for TKB and days where I do light cardio on the treadmill/stairs.

I am LOVING my boxing and kickboxing classes at the MMA gym that I joined (thanks to Reader City Deals).  The only thing I don't love is how heavy their Thai Pads are.  More than the heaviness, I don't love the stench from the countless hours of use.  I want to get my own set of Thai Pads so I don't have to use the community ones.

It has been said that every woman should own a nice handbag before they turn 30.  I have a few years left to make this happen.  This is pretty much my dream handbag.

Seattle, Denver, Nashville... I have places to go and people to see!  Maybe I would even go somewhere totally new.  I have always wanted to see Boston, DC, Chicago, or New York.

A REAL pair of pearl earrings.  I have plenty of fake ones... I want some REAL pearls.  After all, pearls are classy and I am a classy lady.

My iPhone 4, yes a 4 - no Siri for me, works just fine but I would love the upgrade of space, speed, and overall sexiness.

So, what do you say?  Please?

Thanks, Santa!

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