San Diego SUPER Chargers

No fair weather fan here.

I love my Chargers.
Wins.
Losses.
I love them.

I am so thankful that I get to go to the games to cheer them on in person.  Today was no exception...

Cheers to a new year and a new start for the Chargers organization.

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Merry Christmas!

"For to us a child is born, 

to us a son is given, 

and the government will be on his shoulders. 

And he will be called 

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, 

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Isaiah 9:6

For some, the holiday season brings about feelings of great joy and an overwhelming sense of love and hope.  For others, the holiday season brings about feelings of anxiety, fear, loneliness, and a reminder of what they don't have.  For others, they find themselves in the land between both the mountain top and the valley below.  Wherever you find yourself during this holiday season, it is my hope and prayer that you know these things:

You are loved.

You make a difference.

The God of the universe loves you - and don't you dare let anyone tell you differently!

You are beautiful, YES, YOU!

It gets better.

You are not alone.

Hold on to hope... even  especially when you feel like letting go.

You may not believe one, some, or all of those statements, but I do.  So if nothing else, know that there is someone out there who believes them to be true for you.  Yes, YOU!

 

  

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So...

...about that whole end of the world thing?

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Some Things Never Change...

I posted THIS blog on February 5, 2009.

Almost 4 years later, and I still feel the same way.

I want a man who loves Jesus.
I want a man who loves others.
I want a man who loves sports.
I want a man who can laugh at himself.
I want a man who doesn't care about fashion more than I do.
I want a man who doesn't wear skinny jeans.
I want a man who loves music.
I want a man who has friends - real friends, the kind that will tell him when he is being a DB.
I want a man who isn't afraid to tell me when I am wrong and will do so with love and grace.
I want a man who will show affection by holding my hand, touching my back - this is important.
I want a man who can not only initiate but keep up with an intellectual conversation.
I want a man who owns a flannel - and not one made by Volcom or Billabong.
I want a man who knows how to change a tire and maintain his own vehicle - please let it be a truck.
I want a man who prefers beer and whiskey to wine and champagne.
I want a man who is a good friend.
I want a man who is respectful of women.
I want a man who will open doors, walk me to my car, and make sure I made it home safe.

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Then...

...there was that one time when I was going on a blind date and my friends came to spy/make sure that I didn't get shanked.

True story.

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AAA

hashtagsingle.

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Boxing and Baking

Boxing and Baking TOTALLY go together.

Well, in our world they do.
Nothing like following up a boxing class with a bottle of wine, 4 batches of The Best Cookie Ever, a show that is frightening to watch, and dancing and singing to country music.

So thankful to call Tracy friend.

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Tia

When your 4 year old nephew calls you crying, it doesn't matter where you are or what your plans are, you change directions, stop at sonic for slushies and get to him as quickly as possible.

Of course, he wore himself out from crying and was asleep before I got there, but that is beside the point.

I love being Tia to these sweet boys.

Being an aunt really is a special gift that I am so thankful to my sister and brother-in-law for.

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Wingman

Eric is a wonderful person.
He is a therapist - and it is the PERFECT profession for him.  Seriously, it is what he was made to do.
Luckily for me, I don't have to pay for his services since our therapy sessions take place at Disneyland, Dive Bars, and over delicious meals.

Tonight was no different.

Eric is the best wingman out there.
He knows where to go to find men that are my style.
He knows me well enough to know where I will and won't be comfortable.
He doesn't allow me to just sit back - he pushes me to be proactive in dating.

When we realized that there weren't any promising options at the bar, we took to the online option.  Yup, you read that right.  We shall see how this goes.

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One more thing...

Santa,

I forgot one thing on that list...

STORYLINE CONFERENCE!

Please?
Thanks, Santa.

Just like the cast of New Girl, I believe.

Love,
Manders

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The Starter Boyfriend: Part Three

Just as we should, and do, have Starter Boyfriends... we should also have those in-between boyfriends.

DISCLAIMER: I am a firm believer in being HONEST about feelings and expectations.  Some people might think that I am a giant A-Hole for referring to someone as a Starter or In-Between Boyfriend.  The reality is, for me, the guys who get these titles know that they land in one of these categories.  Sometimes Mr. In-Between becomes Mr. Semi-Long Term or even Mr. Boyfriend and SOMETIMES Mr. Fiancé.  Sometimes the Starter Boyfriend becomes an actual boyfriend.  Sometimes they start out as a Starter/In-Between and stay exactly that.  However it turns out, it is and will be OK.  Just be sure to be honest with yourself and the other person in the relationship.
So often, when we find ourselves on the other side of a relationship, which ended for whatever reason, and we don't know where to start picking up the pieces.  As time goes on, we try to put ourselves back together enough to get out there and start living again.  This can take days, weeks, months, and even years.

First things first: DON'T LET ANYONE ELSE TELL YOU HOW LONG THIS SHOULD TAKE.
It is easy for someone on the outside to tell you "oh, it is too soon".  It is also really easy for someone to tell you "the best way to get over one is to get under another".  There is truth in both of these statements, but YOU have to figure out what is right for YOU.

Next: DON'T PUT LIMITS ON YOURSELF FOR HOW LONG THIS SHOULD TAKE.
Time does heal wounds.  Think about it... it takes time for our physical wounds to scab and scar.  Why should we treat our emotional wounds any differently?  We are so quick to tell ourselves that we HAVE to wait a year when we get out of a committed relationship.  If it was a short relationship, we give ourselves a week and then we jump right back in.  Sometimes the most superficial wounds take the longest to heal – yet we don’t allow them the time to do so.  In the same way, some of the wounds that we expect to be the deepest and most labor intensive to heal eventually heal on their own, and in less time than expected.  Again, you have to figure out what is right for you in each situation.

In our little imaginary world, we are going to wait a week, month, or year before getting back out there.  We are going to focus on ourselves and heal.  In reality, someone comes along and ruins our imaginary timeline.  We fight it.  We put limits on things that don't want nor require limits.  We put relationships and feelings in a box rather than just letting things run their course.

The in-between boyfriend generally comes around when we least expect or what him to.  He messes with our timeline that we have created so perfectly in our imagination.  Some friends celebrate his arrival, telling us that it is a great opportunity to learn and grow.  Some friends tell us to be cautious, which is to be expected, but allow us to make our own decisions.  Other friends tell us that it isn't fair to have an in-between boyfriend - he will get hurt.  The reality is... it is a risk.

Dating is risky.
Starter boyfriends are risky.
In-between boyfriends are risky.
Boyfriends are risky.
Fiancés are risky.
Husbands are risky.

If you aren't willing to risk getting hurt, you shouldn't be out there.  In the same way, if the starter/in-between boyfriends don't go into dating knowing that there is risk involved, they should just say home.  In the risky business of dating, we need to remember to relax and just take things one day at a time.  Rather than putting limits on emotions and feelings and putting labels on things – let’s make a commitment to enjoying seasons of Starters and In-Betweens.

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Man Period?

Tonight I got together with a friend that I have known since the seventh grade.  To go further, our mom's grew up together... so our families have a long history.  Joelle is one of those people that you can pick up with after years and it feels like no time has passed at all.  We caught up on life.  We talked about our dating situations.  We celebrated and mourned the reality of being 27 and single.

We decided to stay local and go out close to home.  We ended the night in a dive bar near the beach.  I am a lover of dive bars... the people watching is always the best.  As terrible as it is to say, and don't act like you don't agree, some of the people in dive bars make me feel pretty good about me and my life.  Don't judge me.  You know you have thought and felt the same thing at some point in your life as well.  Tonight was no different.

Meet Keith:

Keith was wearing a suit.  Isn't he fancy?  Yup, I thought so too.

Keith went on to tell Joelle and I all about his lack of a sex life and how he is currently on his "man period" due to his current dry spell.  According to Keith, women use their cycle as an excuse to be extraordinarily bitchy so guys get to use their dry spells for the same.  Keith is a scholar, CLEARLY!

For most of the conversation I was speechless... which says something because it takes a lot for me to be at a loss for words.  As I continued to listen to Keith and Joelle exchange words - most of which consisted of Joelle making fun of Keith and Keith not realizing it - I couldn't help but laugh.  Laugh and die inside a little bit.

THIS IS WHO WE HAVE TO CHOOSE FROM!?!?

I mean, SERIOUSLY.

I wish I could say that Keith is the exception, but I am finding that Keith is actually the rule and I am looking for the exception.  Now I will say, I was out in a part of town that tends to beckon Keith and men that are just like him, but I also know that "Keith" is in every bar, at every club, and is always seated at my table at weddings and events.

So, as long as Keith is who we have to choose from... I will likely be single until this Zombie Apocalypse that everyone keeps talking about happens.

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Forgive and Forget?

I am pretty sure I want to punch whoever came up with "Forgive and Forget".
In spite of my recent endeavor in boxing, I am not a violent person.
I have never been in a physical fight (fighting with my sister when we were kids doesn't count).
That being said, I DEFINITELY want to punch whoever came up with that ridiculous saying.

The reality is, we should forgive.
We have been forgiven.
There is power in forgiveness.
The power that comes from forgiving sometimes lies in the forgiver more than the forgiven.

The memory is a powerful and wonderful gift.

I know, from experience, that there are some things that we wish we could forget.  We don't always want to remember every detail of every event.  Sometimes we do.  We get to choose whether we see memory as a blessing or a curse.  YOU GET TO CHOOSE!
When I hear of people who have lost their memory to Dementia, Alzheimer, or from any other tragedy that can happen, my heart breaks.  Sure, they can no longer remember the pain that they may have endured in life, but they also can't remember the name of their first love.

My problem with this whole "forgive and forget" nonsense is the forget part.  I believe that we should "Forgive but DON'T forget".  Forgive.  Forgive freely.  Don't you dare forget what it is that you are forgiving.  If we forget, we miss the lesson and the chance to learn and grow.

So, let's Forgive by Don't Forget... There is more to be learned in this scenario. 

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Fool

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

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That last 10%

You know what I am talking about.

You know, the last 10% of the conversation that we so often avoid.

That 10%.

When we are talking and sharing our lives with someone, we tend to leave off that last 10% that could potentially change the way the person views us.  In return, the person with which we are speaking often leaves off the last 10% of the truth that we need to hear.  I am a firm believer in the saying, "You are only as good as the company you keep".  In that, I try my best to keep good company around me - people that will both speak and receive the last 10% with grace and love.

During Football season, I spend most Sundays with some of my favorite people.  The football games, on TV and live, are fun... but the best part is getting to talk about life - and all of the ups and downs that come with it.  This weekend was no different.  Last week, I received the great news of two friends being pregnant, of a friend going ring shopping, and of others happily dating.  I heard about all of that while being REAL single.  Don't get me wrong, I could not be happier for my friends... it is just hard to hear sometimes.  Last week was one of those times.  I can't help but feel like I continue to get lapped by my friends on the track of life, while I appear to be taking a water break.  So, we talked about it.

My friend helped me see, by speaking with grace and love and encouragement, that as long as I am taking the water break, I will continue to get lapped.  Hanging out with my married friends, with my friends and their babies, and other similar situations, isn't exactly helping me to get back on the track.  In fact, those things are probably prolonging the water break.  My friend spoke the last 10% that I have been avoiding... If I really want to get out there and date more, if I really want to be in a long-term committed relationship, then I need to change my circumstances.

I need to accept invitations to do things, even if I don't really want to.
I need to put myself out there more.
I need to stop going to bed at 8pm.
I need to look good to feel good - which means continuing to work hard at eating well/working out.
I need to date to date.
I need to give guys a chance - can't be so quick to right someone off.

I needed someone to shake me into the reality of all of these things, and I am so thankful that she did.  I am thankful that, in spite of how scary it can be at times, she said the last 10% without fear of how I would respond.

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Sing it, girl!

It is no secret that I love to sing.
I sing in my office.  I sing in my car.  I sing in other people's cars.  I sing at work.  I sing at home.  I just can't help it.  I love to sing.

One of my very favorite Sundays of the year is when Flood San Diego does their Christmas Concert.  Their creative arts team knocks it out of the park EVERY YEAR.  The videos are beautifully done - evoking laughter and joy.  The songs are produced so masterfully.  It is just a really great evening of celebrating the Advent season and all that this season is really about.  We sing of the coming Savior and of His love for us and the world.  We sing loud.  I love everything about it.

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Little Jars of Happiness...

Last Christmas I got crafty in the form of making a ridiculous amount of crafts.  I made trees out of wine corks.  I made wreaths with yarn and felt flowers.  I made ornaments and coasters out of scrabble letters.  I made baby blankets.  My glue gun got LOTS of use.

This year, I am getting crafty in the kitchen.  Some of you will be receiving a Little Jar of Happiness, so act surprised when you do.

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And They're Off...

These babies are on their way to my most favorite people...

WA, OR, AZ, CO, TX, OK, TN, FL, GA, SC, VA, and all over CA.

Once they are received, I will post the card on here as well.

Tracy made my vision a reality, once again! SHE IS BRILLIANT!

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You're my tuxedo...

...And I'm your bow tie.

Cher Lloyd performed this song on X Factor a few weeks ago and I loved it from the moment I heard it.  Be warned... chair dancing is known to happen while listening to this song.  More than the catchy tune and fun beat, the lyrics are fun and full of love.  To my nearest and dearest, you know who you are, this song is for you...

Yo, my best friend, best friend til the very end
Cause best friends, best friends don't have to pretend
You need a hand, and I'm right there right beside you
You in the dark, I'll be the bright light to guide you
'Member the times, times, times sneaking out the house
All of the times, times, times that you had the doubts
And don't forget all the trouble we got into
We got something you can't undo, do

Laughing so damn hard
Crashed your dad's new car
All the scars we share
I promise, I swear

Wherever you go, just always remember
That you got a home for now and forever
And if you get low, just call me whenever
This is my oath to you
Wherever you go, just always remember
You're never alone, we're birds of a feather
And we'll never change, no matter the weather
This is my oath to you

I know I drive you crazy, maybe, sometimes
I know I call you lazy, and that's most times
But you complete me, and that's no lie
You are my tuxedo, and I'm your bow tie
We in the car, sing, sing, singing our song
Rocking the building, tear it down, like we king kong
And in my eyes, you can't do, do no wrong
You got the best friends sing, sing along

I'll never let you go
Whoa, this is my oath to you
Just thought that you should know
Whoa, this is my oath to you

Yeah...

Oh oh
You should know, you should know, you should know, you should know
Yeah oh
Whoa, this is my oath to you
Whoa, wherever you go just always remember
You're never alone, we're birds of a feather
Whoa, this is my oath to you

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Happiness is...

Happiness is a good hair day.

Happiness is finding out some unexpected people read this blog.

Happiness is getting Christmas cards in the mail.

Happiness is running into a friend at a concert.

Happiness is getting to take a leadership role for a project at work.

Happiness is being sore from a good work out.

Happiness is getting to stay in touch with friends near and far thanks to Google Chat.

Happiness is downloading new songs.

Happiness is putting the finishing touches on the 2012 Christmas Card.

Happiness is getting an unexpected text.

Happiness is watching your friends become parents.

Happiness is being there for a friend when they need you most.

Happiness is shopping for friends and family.

Happiness is a classic Christmas movie.

Happiness is your favorite cookie recipe.

Happiness is a cozy long sleeve shirt.

Happiness is a fresh coat of nail polish.

Happiness is a warm and fuzzy blanket next to a fire.

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Nice List?

Naughty or Nice?

I am fairly certain that I made the nice list.  I am absolutely certain that I did my fair share of naughty things this year, but I would like to think that those moments were few and far between.  That being said,  I decided to make a wish list for Santa.

Dear Santa-
I would LOVE to find any of the following items under my tree.  Please? 

The North Face Denali (with the hood) - Note that this has been on my wishlist for about 9 years now.  One of these days, it will be mine!

I, in NO WAY, need another pair of Nike running shoes at this point in my life... but this list isn't about needs, it is about wants.  I WANT a pair of Nike Frees for TKB and days where I do light cardio on the treadmill/stairs.

I am LOVING my boxing and kickboxing classes at the MMA gym that I joined (thanks to Reader City Deals).  The only thing I don't love is how heavy their Thai Pads are.  More than the heaviness, I don't love the stench from the countless hours of use.  I want to get my own set of Thai Pads so I don't have to use the community ones.

It has been said that every woman should own a nice handbag before they turn 30.  I have a few years left to make this happen.  This is pretty much my dream handbag.

Seattle, Denver, Nashville... I have places to go and people to see!  Maybe I would even go somewhere totally new.  I have always wanted to see Boston, DC, Chicago, or New York.

A REAL pair of pearl earrings.  I have plenty of fake ones... I want some REAL pearls.  After all, pearls are classy and I am a classy lady.

My iPhone 4, yes a 4 - no Siri for me, works just fine but I would love the upgrade of space, speed, and overall sexiness.

So, what do you say?  Please?

Thanks, Santa!

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Style me...

It's time for my annual Christmas Card Photo Shoot.  I am one of those people who LOVES to send and receive cards and letters all year long... so Christmas is just a good excuse to send out 150 at a time.  Coming up with a creative card always takes a little time and then picking out what to wear takes even more time.  This year, I am going for the playful, simple, and fun look and feel.  I want the card to be very ME - as I want it to be every year.  

I have had a pretty good idea in my head of what I want to wear for the pictures.  I decided to go to Polyvore to really lay out the look.  Alex Evjen has inspired me in SO MANY ways, especially when it comes to style.  You don't have to be Promise Tangeman or Kelli Murray to have style.  Alex has taught me to take risks, to try things that I wouldn't normally try, to invest in pieces, to take pride in what I wear and how I wear it.  I couldn't help but think of everything that I have heard (or read) Alex say as I was picking out what to wear for the photos this year.  So Alex, THANK YOU for helping to style this shoot, even though you didn't have any idea you were helping.

Can't wait to get all styled up for today's photo shoot with the RIDICULOUSLY talented Tracy!  Check out her work!  You should hire her.  No, seriously.  YOU SHOULD! She is also the San Diego photographer for (once like a spark). 

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Funk

I can't decide if the modern conveniences that we are attached to have made life better or worse.  At the top of this list would be social networking.  I love staying in touch with friends far away, getting to see my friends kids change and grow, and getting to stalk (let's be real, that's what it is) people that I am "friends" with.  I don't love the fallacies that run rampant among these sites.  I don't know that any of us mean to do this, but we do.

Life is oh so sexy when shown through a pretty Instagram filter.

The truth is, life isn't feeling so sexy for me today... for the past few days really.
Here is the reality of the funk that I am currently in:

I haven't talked much about my weight loss journey recently because I haven't seen a loss in a while.  I lost my mojo.  I got comfortable in my journey and stopped doing the things that I knew I needed to do.  I stopped keeping track of what I ate and drank.  I stopped working out regularly, or even at all for a season.  I let myself go.  I let myself go so much that I have gained 14 pounds from my lowest weight in this journey.  14 pounds!  14 pounds makes a BIG difference in how I feel and how my clothes fit and consequently how confident I feeling.  That doesn't happen over night.  That isn't one bad meal.  That isn't one bad weekend.  That isn't one bad week.  That isn't even a lot of bad weeks.  It is the culmination of no longer staying focused on the goal.  I have said that I will make a U-Turn and change a few times, but it is easier said than done.  I keep trying to think back to the drive that I had at the beginning of the journey so I can get it back.  The reality is, I just wanted to change.  I really really wanted to change and I was willing to do anything to do so.  I say I want to change but my actions have not reflected so.  Part of me putting this out there is making it a reality.  I don't want to hide behind pictures that are cropped or filtered just right.  I want to change... it is time for my actions to reflect that desire.

Tuesday was the three year anniversary of my dad's death.  That day always puts me in a funk.  The death of my dad brought with it a whole mess of emotions and thoughts.  When my dad died I no longer had to question whether or not he would show up to my wedding and if he did show, whether or not he would be drunk.  On the flip side, I no longer had the option to have my dad at my wedding.

A few weeks ago I broke out on my left cheek.  I thought it was just the usual post period break out.  Nope. Not this time.  Full on adult acne.  Painful.  Too many blemishes to count.  It isn't my make-up.  It isn't the way I sleep.  It is simply hormones.  It is getting better but is still annoying and VERY noticeable.  I am one of the lucky ones who has never really dealt with acne - even in the teenage years, I only got a few zits here and there.  So, this is a big deal for me.

Being 27 and single at the holidays has it's peaks and pits.  Hearing Dave Barnes sing of how Christmas is a "Holiday made for two" doesn't exactly help in the pit department.  I am VERY fortunate in that I have A LOT of people around me that love me... but there is still the desire to have a handsome man to spend the holiday with.

So there you have it.  That is where I am at... without the pretty facade of an instagram filter and without the photo being cropped.  That's the whole thing...

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The Starter Boyfriend: Part Two

I was you a-typical Evangelical good girl.
In a lot of ways, I still am.

But... I have also grown up a bit in my thoughts and ideas of how life is and should be.

• The thought of waiting to have my first kiss at the altar (something that I once wanted to do) makes me cringe and bust out in laughter.
• The thought of having the only guy I date become my husband seems completely and totally disillusioned.  (Not to say that it can't happen - it has happened to a number of people and works... just not for me.)
• I no longer think that waiting until marriage to have sex is an absolute MUST.
• Now here me out with this... I still hold the same morals and values that I have always held and I still want to wait until I am married to have sex but it won't be the end of the world if it happens before then.
•  The checklist that I had has been ripped up and tossed out the window.

In throwing the checklist out the window, I have tried to date to date... NOT to marry.  This is a new concept when you are fed the buffet of dating advice that I (and many others) was fed going to a Bible College.

I was recently dating someone who couldn't have been more opposite of the checklist that I got rid of.  I did that on purpose.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the time we spent together and I liked him.  If I was being completely honest with myself and my friends, I would say that I always knew that it wasn't going to go anywhere.  In fact, I referred to him as "The Starter Boyfriend".  I didn't mean that to be rude or to dismiss who he was or the time we spent together.  I was just being honest.  I wasn't the one for him and he wasn't the one for me and there is nothing wrong with that.

I learned a lot from that Starter Boyfriend.

• I learned to enjoy the moment.
• I learned to be myself - to take pride in who I am and what I have to offer but to not care if what I have to offer or who I am isn't up to par for whomever it is that I am with.
• I learned to let the guy be the guy - let him pay, let him open doors, let him buy you things.
• I learned to let go - if he wants to be with you, he will be with you.
• I learned to be honest - it isn't easy to tell someone that you are a 27 year old virgin, it isn't easy to tell someone that you like him, it isn't easy to tell someone when you are scared, it isn't easy to ask someone not to drink and drive... but all of those things AND MORE needed to be said.
• I learned to not let the opinions of others dictate how I felt or what I thought.

Those are just SOME of the things I learned... and that was a STARTER BOYFRIEND.  Who, wasn't even a "boyfriend".

So... If I can learn all of that AND MORE from a guy that, I never would have given a second thought to a few years ago, and who I dated for just over a month, how much more will I learn from a longer and more substantial relationship?!

Cheers to the next Starter Boyfriend that comes along.

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The Starter Boyfriend: Part One

The Evangelical Church plants some pretty interesting thoughts about dating, courting, and relationships in general.  Do this.  Don't do that.  It's called COURTING, NOT dating.  The list could go ON and ON and ON.

I am fairly certain that it is no one's intention to do permanent damage, but I fear that is exactly what is happening.  I have seen multiple scenarios play out among my friends and classmates from the teeny tiny Bible College and Faith Based University that I attended.

1. Girl meets Boy at 18 or 19.  Girl and Boy "court".  Girl and Boy don't dare have a sexual relationship of any sort.  Girl and Boy have a short engagement.  Girl and Boy get married.  Girl and Boy get pregnant.  Girl and Boy live happily ever after - often times denying that life is ever hard.
2. Girl meets Boy at 18 or 19.  Girl and Boy "court".  Girl and Boy don't dare have a sexual relationship of any sort.  Girl and Boy have a short engagement.  Girl and Boy get married.  Girl and Boy discover that they didn't know who they were or what they wanted in life.  Girl and Boy get divorced.
3. Girl meets Boy.  Girl and Boy go on a few dates.  Girl and Boy decide to be "boyfriend and girlfriend".  Girl's friends immediately ask when they are getting married.  Boy's friends could care less about the marriage conversation.  Girl and Boy date for a few months and then they don't anymore.
4. Girl meets Boy.  Girl and Boy date - going against the grain.  Girl and boy have a sexual relationship - again going against the grain.  Girl and Boy have a healthy relationship.  Girl and Boy get engaged and married.  Girl and Boy live happily ever after, through the ups and downs that life brings.
5. Girl meets Boy.  Girl and Boy "hook up" or "mess around" or whatever else terminology you choose to use.  That's all.
6. Girl meets Boy. That's all.

Now, there are more than just six scenarios.  Quite frankly, I got tired of typing them out.  There are endless combinations, even within the six that I listed above.  All this to say, I can't help but feel like many of us have been thrown into the torrent river without a swimming lesson or a life vest.  We don't know how to date.  We don't know how to just be.

A first date doesn't always lead to a second date - and that is OK!
A second date doesn't always lead to a third date - and that is OK!
A third date doesn't always lead to sex - and that is REALLY OK!
A relationship doesn't always come after 5 dates - and that is OK!
A really awful date can come after 6 weeks of really wonderful dates - and that is OK!
A relationship that lasts for a year, or two, or three, or even four sometimes ends rather than leading to a big sparkly ring - and that is OK!

We put so much pressure on dates.
We go from meeting someone to planning our wedding and picking out kid names in 30 seconds.
We plan ahead rather than living in the moment.

What if we had starter boyfriends and saw them simply as they were?

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THANKFUL

"It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season - like all the other seasons - is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them."
                                                                                                       -Lemony Snicket, The Lump of Coal

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Twenty two

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope that you were able to spend the day with people that you love and who love you.

I started today with my dear friend Rhonda.  We met up in Balboa Park to do the Father Joe's Thanksgiving Day 5K.  I have done this 5K a few times, and have come to love starting my Thanksgiving this way.  I am so thankful for the friend that I have in Rhonda.

After the 5K, I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things and then headed home to watch football take a nap before heading to to Grandma Brown's house.

I am so thankful that I am in San Diego and get to be a part of my nephew's lives.  These two little guys bring me so much joy.  Celebrating Thanksgiving with them and my sister and my extended family at my grandma's is a blessing.  We are fortunate to have a BIG family that is all fairly close to home base.

This is the first year in YEARS that I didn't do the usual round of Harvey and Knudsen houses.  The Harvey's changed it up by celebrating the holiday at Opa's house and we celebrated the Knudsen Thanksgiving a few weeks ago.  I missed seeing both of those families but am so thankful to have been invited to spend the afternoon/evening with chaos. :)

My belly is full of yummy food and my heart is full from all of the love that I have in my life.

I am thankful.

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Twenty one

I am thankful for my dear cousin Sarra.

This lady is a GEM.
She has a heart of gold.
She loves Jesus in a REAL way.
She is encouraging.
She is HILARIOUS.

I am thankful that I get to call Sarra cousin and FRIEND.

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Twenty

There is nothing like retreating from reality into the mountains.

Make those mountains Breckenridge, Colorado and it gets even better!

Chelsea and I took a little mini vacation (from our vacation) to Breckenridge.  Her friend's family was kind enough to let us stay in their cabin mansion.  I am not kidding... this place is RIDICULOUS!  

I am thankful for time away to just be.

I am thankful for time away with one of my very best friends.

I am thankful for rest.

I am thankful for fresh mountain air.

(Yes, that is a dog, sitting on a bar stool, drinking right next to me.)

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Nineteen

I am thankful for this man.

Andrew and I have been friends for about 8 years.
In some ways, it feels like it has been WAY longer than 8 years and in some ways it feels like we met just yesterday.

Through the good times and bad, I have been able to count on Andrew.

He's just the best.

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Eighteen

I am thankful for my Chargers.
I am thankful for the means with which I was able to purchase the tickets for Chelsea and I to enjoy our rivalry game.

 

The bottom photo says it all...

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Seventeen

I am thankful for football.
There is nothing like enjoying a football game on a crisp fall day with one of your very best friends.

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Sixteen

I am thankful for the means to travel.
I am thankful that I have friends all over to visit and spend time with.
I am thankful for a job that provides time to get away.

 

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Fifteen

I am thankful for the break between concert seasons.

See you in 2013, Cricket.

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Fourteen

I am thankful for the big family that I have.

We aren't perfect.
In fact, we put the fun in DysFUNctional.

Today, we celebrated the life of my sweet Aunt Ida, who passed away a few weeks ago at 90 years old.

Random fact - Aunt Ida didn't know that her real name was Adelaide until she saw her birth certificate for the first time when applying for a marriage license.  I didn't know her name was Adelaide until I walked into the funeral and saw the program.  I have always loved the name Adelaide for a little girl...

We have a big family full of people with big personalities, big egos, and big hearts.

I have to remember that a lot of people don't have a living room full of 50+ people every holiday... it is a blessing.

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Thirteen

I am thankful that I have friends that speak truth - even when it hits like a ton of bricks.

Tonight, I had planned on doing a 7:30 Kickboxing class with a friend.  This is the kind of kickboxing that requires a partner and is NO FUN if you have to partner with someone that you don't know.  Work ran late for her, which meant I had to decide...
1. Go alone and partner up with a sweaty stranger
2. Go to 24 Hour Fitness and do the usual Cardio Day routine

Truth is, I had little to no motivation to do either.  By the time 7:30 hits, I am generally ready to put on some cozy clothes, cuddle up with a book or with my DVR.  The last thing I want to do at 7:30 is work out.

Alas, I am committed to making a U-Turn, and that means working out - especially when I don't feel like it.

I sent a quick text to a good friend of mine and she responded with this...

"You deserve to work out.  It's a privilege, not everyone has two legs and two arms."

Way to pull out the big guns!

BUT

She is right. 
Working out IS a privilege.
And it goes further than just not having arms and legs.

Not everyone can afford to have a membership to a gym, let alone two different gyms, a Barre studio, and a Pilates studio.  (As I write that out, I realize just how much of a fitness whore I have become... I blame it on Groupon, Living Social, and Daily Reader Deals.)
Not everyone has the luxury of having as much free time as I have - sometimes being 27, single, and childless has it's perks.

Working out is a privilege - I needed to be reminded of that.

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Twelve

I am thankful for the freedoms that I have thanks to our forefathers and the veterans that continue to fight to keep those freedoms in place.

I am thankful that we celebrate those veterans by taking a day off to reflect and relax.

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Eleven

I am thankful for friends that you can do everything and nothing with.
Breakfast and a Chargers game on TV in PJS or a Charity Event.
Shopping at Nordstrom or shopping at Nordstrom.com.
Movie at a theater or a movie on the couch at home.

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Ten

Andrea and Amy are those friends that always fill you up, just by spending time with them.

Wedding season wouldn't have been complete without a wedding with these ladies.

We are the bad kids in the back row laughing at inapropriate times.

We chair dance.

We just have a good time.

I am thankful that God put the three of us at San Diego Christian College from three very different places.

I am thankful that our friendship has only strenthened since leaving SDCC.

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Nine

It is no secret that I love my job with Live Nation.

A BIG part of what makes my job with Live Nation so great, is these ladies.

I genuinely love going to work everyday, mostly because it means that I get to see Kristin and Rhonda.  These ladies are more than Boses/Co-workers, they are my friends.

We laugh, we cry (well, I cry), and we just do life together... the good, the bad and the ugly.

I am thankful to have these women in my life.

They have taught me, and continue to, teach me so much about life, love, being a wife and a mother, and so much more.

Kristin and Rhonda - I am thankful for you ladies.  BIG TIME!



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Eight

The journey to a healthier and fitter me has been a long one with losses and gains - ups and downs.  It hasn't been easy by any stretch of the imagination.  Tracking everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, that I eat and drink into my Weight Watchers App isn't fun or easy.  There are seasons when I am REALLY good at keeping track and there are seasons when I am not.

Going to the gym or to Pure Barre or to Victory MMA isn't my idea of a great time but I feel great after my time at those places, so I have to remember that when I am saying less than kind things under my breath while lacing up my shoes.

I have become quite complacent in the past few months.
Missing one work out quickly turned into missing two which quickly turned into not knowing the last time I made my way to 24 Hour Fitness.
Not tracking my food/drinks one meal turned into one day which turned into one week.
Those decisions have consequences...

I have gained some weight.
My body isn't as toned as it once was.
My clothes don't lay as nicely as they did a few months ago.

Today, I made the decision to make a U-Turn.  I want my clothes to fit better and I want to have to buy new clothes because the ones I have are too big, not too small.  I want to like the shape of my legs and butt again.  I want to not have back fat.

Making a U-Turn means focusing and buckling down...
Back to tracking food and drink.
Back to not drinking beer/wine/cocktails unless it is a special occasion.
Back to resisting the chocolate bowl on Rhonda's desk.
Back to drinking more water than I thought humanly possible.
Back to making working out a priority - NO EXCUSES.

On my way home today, I didn't want to go to the gym.  Earlier this week, I ordered a new pair of work out pants from Kohl's (funny that I ordered some work out pants considering I haven't been working out).  I knew that the pants would be delivered soon, I assumed tomorrow.  On my way home, I told myself, if the pants had arrived, I would go to the gym, NO MATTER WHAT.  Well guess what, the pants were there.

So, to the gym I went.

I am so thankful that I told myself that I would go.
30 minutes on the elliptical flew by.
15 minutes on the stair climber was tougher than the elliptical but I did it.
Planks, Russian Twists, Lunges and Squats were killer but so good.

75 minutes later, I was done and felt like a champ.

Here's to making U-Turns and reaching goals!

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AMTM: Part Three

I'm on fire... can't help but post more...

Sometimes you, and by you I mean men, do the following things in an effort to impress us, and by us I mean women:

• Drive Fast
• Act Macho
• Shotgun a Beer - don't get me wrong... I am generally pretty impressed when people do this but there is a time and a place for it.
• Potty Mouth - again, don't get me wrong... I can have the mouth of a sailor at times and appreciate a good F-Bomb every now and again... but just as with shotgunning a beer, there is a time and a place for it. 
• Show off your new LCD HD BLAH BLAH BLAH TV. 

I am going to go out on a limb, as I am doing with most of the statements here and in Part One and Part Two, and say that VERY FEW women are impressed with any of those things.  You know what does impress us though?

• When you drive safer than you might when you are alone, because you have precious cargo.
• When the car that you are driving is in your name - not your parents.
• When you are the one who is paying for/paid for the car that you are driving.
• When the car that you are driving doesn't smell like a gym bag or have fast food remnants and wrappers all over the passenger seat and floor boards.
• When you act like a gentlemen - to us and everyone else.
• When you treat people with respect; The way you treat the guy behind the counter at the store, the waiter, the bartender, or the parking guy says A LOT about your character.
• When you offer us a beer before you jump on the shotgun bandwagon.      
• When you think before you speak; Dropping an F-Bomb within minutes of meeting Grandma isn't always the best idea.  Using colorful language in front of co-workers, family, and some friends is generally frowned upon until a rapport is built.
• When you show us your ridiculous new TV we see that have a bookcase with books that you have actually read.

 

 

 

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