MandersLuke

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Thursday, 11 April 2013

Internet Envy

Posted on 08:13 by Unknown
It's a real thing.

It wasn't until very recently, and mostly because Nate called me out on it on more than one occasion, that I realized how much time I spend on social media.  I would find myself checking Facebook just a few minutes after I checked it the last time.  The same with Instagram.  I deleted the Twitter app off of my phone a while ago and deactivated/deleted my account soon after that... which wasn't really a sacrifice of any measure considering I would only check Twitter about once a month.

What is our fascination with being in the constant "know" of what is going on in the lives of those that we call "friends".  Do I really care what your 6 month old ate today? Not really.  Do you really care what concert it is that I am "at" and by "at" 9 times out of 10 it means that I am in a box office working, NOT out in the crowd?  Nope.  Do I really need to know where you ate your lunch and with whom? Not at all.

Sidenote:
About these "friends".  I put friends in quotations because I know that I am guilty of being "friends" with someone on Facebook that I don't consider a friend in my non-social media life.  I am not "friends" with complete strangers - but I certainly have "friends" that are people that I went to school with that I haven't seen since graduation and have only spoken to a handful of times since wearing those Maroon Caps and Gowns almost 10 years ago.  Some Many are real-life friends, but some are not, and that is why I use quotation marks.

There are parts of Facebook and Instagram that I really love.

While I don't care that your child is teething or what it is that they ate for their 10am feeding, I do love getting to see my friends' families grow.  I love getting to see the little ones grow and change - but I don't need to be on Facebook multiples time a day, or even daily, to see those changes take place.

While you don't care what concert it is that I am "at" - I do love my job, and am excited to get to share it with the people that I am "friends" with.  I feel VERY FORTUNATE and consider myself to be QUITE blessed to get to work a job that I absolutely love.  Along with that, people often complain that they didn't know that a particular show was happening - so I share it when it goes on sale, as tickets remain/go off of sale, and when the show happens.

I love being able to see and read about trips and treasures, engagements and weddings, house hunting and remodeling, babies and birthdays.  I love it.  BUT - I don't need to log-in or power up the app multiple times throughout the day, or even daily.  If I were being honest with you, and especially myself, I would say that it is absolutely unhealthy how much time I spend on social media.  I say that my time is valuable but I waste it on social media - it doesn't make sense... and it certainly doesn't make me any better.

I love getting my email updates from Relevant Magazine.  There is almost always an article or two that challenge me in one way or another.  This week was no different.  Shauna Niequist wrote an article about this exact topic: Instagram's Envy Effect.  If you haven't already, I think it is worthy of a read - even a quick skim wouldn't be a bad idea.

It is full of so much truth...

We post pictures showing our social media world our seemingly perfect relationships but no one knows about the disagreement that took place before the photo was taken.
We post pictures of our cute outfit but we make sure we crop out the mess in the background and post the picture from the most flattering angle that was one of MANY taken.
We say things like "Blessed" in our status update but don't update it the next day when we feel like curling up in a ball and crying all day.
We show our extravagant vacations, weddings, shopping trips, but we don't show the pile of debt that is building because of those things.

As Shauna says, we show half truths.  Only our REAL community, the one NOT found or formed through social media knows the WHOLE truth.  They know about the fight, the messy house, the panic attacks and debt.  Sure, there are some communities within social media that provide great support - but if that is the community that you find yourself going to most often, I would venture to say that it is time to unplug and look up at the faces that are right in front of you.

By no means am I giving up Facebook and Instagram.

BUT

I am trying to be MUCH MORE MINDFUL of how much time I devote to it.  I want to be present with those around me.  I want to find out what is happening in someone's life because we met for a walk or had a phone date or sent one another a letter or email.  I want to be more intentional with the people that are most important.  Facebook and Instagram are great - but they CERTAINLY do not deserve the amount of time that I have dedicated to them in the past.


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