Insecure

Even the most confident and strongest of people have moments and seasons of feeling less than.  Unfortunately for me, I find myself in one of those seasons.  I can't explain why, I am still trying to figure that out, but I know that I find myself feeling less than and it isn't a good feeling.  Quite frankly, it doesn't make sense either.

I have a wonderful man in my life who loves me well.
I have the best friends a girl can ask for.
I have families who have welcomed me in as theirs and have made me feel like part of a whole.
I have two jobs, yes two, that I love.
I am tackling debt that I thought would cripple me forever.
I have an overabundance of things to be thankful for and celebrate... yet I find myself feeling sad and less than.

I have these moments of feeling like I am not enough.
Not pretty enough.
Not skinny/fit enough.
Not smart enough.
Not financially stable enough.
Not _______ enough.

IT IS ABOSLUTELY RIDUCLOUS!

Who says who or what is enough?!?!

I write this blog more for me than for anyone else.  I needed to get these feelings out on the proverbial paper so as to acknowledge them and start the healing process.  If I were honest I would say that I have been feeling this way for a little while but never put words to it.  I blamed it on being tired, PMS, or just having an off day.  The reality is, it's ok to not be ok.  However, it's NOT ok to set up home in the "not ok" area.  I can be not be ok for a season, allow myself to feel the emotions, and then I need to take an active role in becoming ok again.

Even writing these words I have breathed many deep breaths that have felt like a weight lifting.

So, this is me, not ok right now, but I will be... probably sooner than I think.

Today, I am praying for eyes to see myself the way He sees me.