The Land Between: PART ONE

Well, here I am, almost 4 years after leaving Arizona to head to Nashville only to end up back in San Diego.   4 years ago, I was working at a church in Arizona, dreaming of Nashville, about to have my degree in hand and the world at my fingertips.  Life didn't go according to plan. 

For the past 4 years, I have been living, for lack of a better term, in the land between.  (Thank you Jeff Manion for making this sound so much for eloquent than I ever could!)  When I, ever so abruptly, left the journey to Nashville and the dream that I had of being there, I thought that I would be in San Diego for six months to a year and then move on... Life didn't go according to plan.

I spent July and August of 2008 living the unemployment dream (only I didn't collect unemployment, I lived off of the little savings that I had.)  In September of 2008, I started a job at a photography studio, a job that I enjoyed but wasn't passionate about.  In June 2009, I moved on to work for San Diego Unified School District, not for a job that I was excited about but for a job that gave me benefits and retirement.  In September 2010, I changed jobs within SDUSD that took me to a job that I really enjoy... I make pennies but I have never called in sick because I hate my job and have never left my job hoping that I don't have to return; my worst day at this job is far better than my best day at previous jobs.  It goes without saying, I don't have my dream job, and I am not sure that I even know what that is anymore, if I were being completely honest. Life didn't go according to plan.

Since being back in SD, I have church hopped like no other.  For a season, I called Flood home.  I will be honest, I mainly went to Flood because I had a crush on a guy that attended there.  Don't get me wrong, it was a great place for me in that season of life too, so it's not like I ONLY went for him... it just helped to get me there. :)  For a season, I regularly attended The Rock.  Then things got a little political leading up to the campaigns in 2008 and I just couldn't hang with all of the political talk in church... it made me a little crazy, couldn't hang.  For a while, I made a commitment to attend Mosaic San Diego.  I REALLY like Mosaic.  I like how small the gathering is.  I like the music.  I like how creative the community is.  I just didn't feel like I fit in... I am not hip enough.  These days, I find myself back at The Rock (when I go to a service), and it is a good place for me in this season.  I didn't expect to leave a job a church only to find myself in a place of not having a church that I feel comfortable enough in to call it home and make it home.  Life didn't go according to plan.

To go even further, life doesn't look AT ALL what I thought it would look like as I approach my 27th Birthday.  Let's be real, when I was 18, starting my college career at Seattle Pacific University, I thought that I would have the coveted "ring by spring" of my senior year - hell, I thought that I would have spring of my senior year be at SPU... neither one of those things happened.  I thought that I would be married with a baby either here or on the way by almost 27.  I thought that I would be living  in a cute apartment or tiny house, making a house a home for my family, while working at my dream job.  I thought that like would be wrapped up in a pretty little bow.  Life didn't go according to plan.

So, here I am, a month shy of turning 27, living life in The Land Between.  I am living at home with my parents.  I am single, VERY single.  I barely make enough to make the minimum payments on my student loans.  I attend church semi-regularly, still not at a place that I call home.  Life isn't wrapped up in a pretty bow.  I mean, let's be real... LIFE IS MESSY in the land between.