November 10

Today, I am thankful that people change.

You see, in High School, I wasn't the most pleasant person to be around.  Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of friends and was super involved, but people put up with A LOT from me.  I was a new believer and was quite over-zealous in my belief.  I sat in History class and told people they were going to hell for their politics, sexual orientation, or just general disposition.  I was quite holier than though, if you know what I am saying.

Side-note:  If you are reading this and you are one of those people that I said that to, I AM SO SORRY.  I was wrong.  I was wrong to judge you.  I was wrong to think that I was better than you.  I was wrong in so many ways.  I am sorry for the hurt that I may have caused you.  I am sorry that I said and did what I said and did.  If you are reading this and I wasn't the person to say that to you, but someone once did, let me apologize on their behalf.

Beyond my Bible-thumping ways, I was just a hurting person.  I had A LOT of hurt in my life that I didn't know how to articulate, and wasn't ready to articulate.  I was just a BARREL of fun.  These ways followed me to my freshman year at SPU.  I wasn't as bad at SPU, but I was also among "my people".  I was at a school with people who, supposedly, believed the same things that I did.  I didn't tell anyone that they were going to hell, but I was still a hormonal girl with a lot of hurt.

Tonight, I went out on the town to celebrate my friend Eric's birthday.  Eric and I met our freshman year at SPU when we both lived on 4th Ashton.  Eric is just good people.  When I left SPU, we lost touch but reconnected when he moved to SD to go to grad school at USD.  Having Eric in SD has been an absolute blast.  Seriously, he is FUN.

Someone that I went to High School with is in Eric's program at USD, and he came out last night too.  I was nervous to see him, as I am generally pretty nervous to see anyone that I went to High School with because I am not the same person and want to be seen for who I am NOW, not who I was 10 years ago.  Thankfully, he saw me for who I am now.


I am thankful that we change.  I am thankful that when we acknowledge the garbage in our life and throw it out, life gets cleaner.  Don't get me wrong, life is still a mess, but it just doesn't stink like rotten emotion anymore.


I hope all of this makes sense... It is kind of verbal diarrhea.  :)